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Bear Preaching

This post was written by admin on August 3, 2014
Posted Under: preaching

Joke about bear preaching

A Catholic priest, a Baptist preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students at the University of Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods in upstate Michigan; find a bear; preach to it; and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all got together to discuss the results of their experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. “Well,” he says, “I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, Mother of God, he became gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him his first communion and confirmation.”

Pastor Billy B. Smith spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, “WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don’t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said Flanny, he became as gentle as a lamb. In fact, until the ambulance came, we spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.”

They both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV’s and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape near death, but recovering.

The Rabbi looked up and said, “Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”

Originally posted 2008-12-30 18:11:54.

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