Early Dismissal
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.
Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today.”
Little Johnny [...]
Why men shouldn’t write advice columns
Dear John,
I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to get my husband’s help. When I [...]
Four Great Religious Truths
During these serious and trying times, people of all faiths should remember these Four Great Religious Truths:
1. Muslims do not recognise Jews as God’s chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognise Christ as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognise the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Mennonites do not recognise each [...]
THE GOLFING NUN…….
A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
‘What troubles you, Sister?’ asked the Mother Superior. ‘I thought this was the day you spent with your family.’
‘It was,’ sighed the Sister. ‘And I went to play golf with my brother. We [...]
Will the Dollar Fall?
Financial Crisis!
The question all Markets are asking is:
Will the Dollar fall or not?
The moral is: be a Tight Ass.
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I PLAY GOLF ON FRIDAYS!
Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, [...]
On Trial
Defence Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
I am 76 years old.
Defence Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on [...]
Question for Pool Players
I HAVE FOUND THAT MANY POOL AND BILLIARD PLAYERS DO NOT KNOW ALL THE RULES….
CAN YOU USE THE TABLE TO BALANCE YOUR CUE?
CAN YOU LEAN AGAINST THE TABLE?
CAN ANY PART OF YOUR BODY BE AGAINST THE RAILS?
CAN YOUR CUE STICK TOUCH THE FELT BEFORE YOUR SHOT?
SO, THE QUESTION IS. IS THIS SHOT [...]
For those of you Convent educated creatures… ..
A businessman is getting on a flight when he hears from another passenger that the Pope is going to be on the flight.
“WOW, great!” he thinks, being a devout Christian, “What a good place to be today.”
Just before the aircraft doors are closed the Pope enters the plane [...]
From the American Association Of Retired People
Questions and Answers from AARP Forum
Q: Where can men over the age
of 60 find younger, sexy
women who are interested
in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his
wife is going through
menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with
tools, you can finish the basement.
When you’re done you’ll have a
place to live.
Q: Someone has [...]
